There was a time I was in a meeting. Everyone else seemed to know what was happening, and I was asking for clarification and it was obvious I was breaking deep taboos.

I literally started doubting my sense of what was being asked of us, as everyone else seemed to not think it was bad (or at least seemed to understand!)

I came out of the meeting really shaken, tears in the stairwell and everything.

It wasn't until a few days later that a colleague forwarded on a news article that said the thing I thought was happening was indeed happening, not just with us but across the sector.

Although it was a terrible phenomenon to read about, I felt the relief in my body to know that I wasn't being stupid or obtuse or naive.

I remember in some facilitation writing I read a while back, one of their major practices was noticing when someone was on their own in expressing a view.

If this happened, as a facilitator they would ask, does anyone else see this this way?

And if no one did, they would find something in their own experience that overlapped in some way with the lone person's.

Their perspective was that having someone isolated was a deep rupture for a group and one of the things that would stop healthy interactions happening.

(I think there's some nuance here about if someone is expressing harmful views, but, maybemaybe even then it's useful to keep someone in a conversation rather than shunning them. MUCH nuance there, but, you know, dynamic tensions

Just because you're on your own, doesn't mean you're wrong.

And sometimes sharing what's happening for you can be enough for someone to get the strength to carry on.